It’s been a long while since i write. Life’s been like a roller coaster lately.

I hit another break up. This one only last for about 4 months.. but somehow I feel like it hits me more than my previous 2 years relationship. Accumulated heartbreak, i guess.

At this point I can’t seem to find a way to spill it out to my friends or family. Most if not all of them thinks that I’m taking it real easy. Well, logically they’re correct.. it was only like a summer fling.

We met up, fell in love, and right before he went back to his country we decided to take it serious n be in a relationship. I should have known it wouldn’t last. I guess I have always known. But at that time, I just thought that it was a chance I must take.. couldn’t let it go just like that.. had to give it a shot. But I didn’t know it would hit me this hard.

That guy.. he is a very romantic, spontaneous, fun and sweet handsome guy. He’s not the type of guy i typically fall for. He smokes occasionally (or so he said), a very active party goer, drinker.. and childish too most of the time. hahaha.. I know he’s gonna be big one day.

The breakup.. well.. we’re both blaming it on the long distance. It’s partly true; if it wasn’t because of the distance, there are higher chance for us to stick together and make it work. But honestly, idk. i’m not so sure about that. He’s just a kid. I’m not blaming him to be one, I know it’s his time to still be a kid.. he’ll mature up eventually. not anytime soon, but yea, eventually. We broke up saying we still love each other. Which is silly, really.. if we truly do we would have still fought for it, wouldn’t we?

Moving on.. humphh.. I prefer a nice clean breakup. I prefer to have a solid reason to end a relationship. To know exactly that I’m not gonna look back and want it again. And this is not the case this time.

I’m still waking up day by day with a part of me wishing that he would show up somewhere and surprise me like he did before.